100 People Reveal What Actions Are Considered Cheating In A Relationship

Let’s be honest—cheating isn’t always as clear-cut as you think. Some people think kissing someone else is crossing the line, while others believe emotional connections can be just as damaging. We asked 100 people to spill the tea on what actions they consider cheating, and the answers were anything but predictable. From the obvious to the subtle, here’s what they had to say about what counts as cheating in a relationship.

Ready to see where the lines get blurred? Let’s dive in.

1. Kissing

“If you kiss someone else, that’s it for me. I don’t care if it was ‘just a peck’—it’s still cheating.” — Alex, 25

Kissing seems to be the go-to sign of cheating for many. It’s intimate, direct, and usually hard to explain away. Even a seemingly innocent kiss can break trust for a lot of people.

2. Emotional Affairs

“When your partner confides in someone else about things they should be telling you, that’s cheating to me. It’s not always physical.” — Jessica, 23

Emotional cheating is a massive deal for many. Deep conversations, late-night texting, and sharing personal details with someone outside the relationship can be seen as a betrayal, even if no physical boundaries are crossed.

3. Flirting

“Flirting may seem harmless, but if you’re giving someone else the attention you should be giving your partner, that’s cheating.” — Mario, 27

Some people consider flirting the gateway to cheating. It’s playful and fun, but if the intent is to get attention or validation from someone who isn’t your partner, it can be seen as crossing a line.

4. Hiding Messages or Conversations

“If you feel the need to hide your phone or delete messages, you’re cheating. Even if nothing ‘happened,’ the fact that you’re being secretive is a red flag.” — Sarah, 22

Trust is everything in a relationship, and hiding messages or being secretive about who you’re talking to makes people feel like there’s more going on than meets the eye.

5. Reconnecting With an Ex

“If you’re texting or meeting up with an ex, it’s a no from me. You had your chance with them—why go back?” — Kofi, 24

Exes are a touchy subject. Whether it’s texting, meeting up, or even maintaining a close friendship, many people see interactions with an ex as a betrayal.

6. Sexting

“Sexting is cheating, plain and simple. You’re literally engaging in something sexual with someone else, even if it’s not in person.” — Danielle, 26

Sexting is an undeniable form of cheating for most. If it involves anything sexual, whether it’s physical or not, it’s seen as crossing the line.

7. Going on Dates With Someone Else

“If you’re going on a ‘casual’ dinner with someone else, that’s cheating to me. What’s the point if you’re already in a relationship?” — Ethan, 28

Even non-sexual outings can make people uncomfortable. Some consider going on a one-on-one dinner with someone else as a major betrayal.

8. Keeping Your Relationship Status a Secret

“If you’re not telling people you’re in a relationship and acting single, that’s cheating in my eyes.” — Rebecca, 21

Being secretive about your relationship status, especially in social settings or online, can make your partner feel disrespected and insecure.

9. Using Dating Apps

“Why would you be on a dating app if you’re in a relationship? Swiping right is a form of cheating, for sure.” — Tomiwa, 23

The use of dating apps, even if it’s just for “fun,” is considered a major breach of trust. For most, there’s no reason to be on Tinder or Bumble if you’re committed to someone.

10. Emotional Bonding With a “Work Spouse”

“You know that ‘work spouse’ everyone talks about? Yeah, I’m not okay with that. If you’re emotionally connecting with a coworker, it feels like cheating.” — Victor, 29

Office relationships can blur boundaries, and many feel that emotional bonding with a coworker—especially when it mimics a romantic partnership—is a form of infidelity.

11. Watching Explicit Content Behind Your Partner’s Back

“I don’t care if people think this is ‘normal,’ but secretly watching adult content feels like a betrayal to me.” — Amara, 24

Not everyone agrees on this, but some people consider watching explicit content, especially if hidden from a partner, as cheating.

12. Sending ‘Innocent’ DMs

“Sliding into someone’s DMs, even if it’s just for attention, feels shady. If you’re doing it behind my back, it’s cheating.” — Chris, 26

Social media is a big gray area. Many people feel that secretly messaging someone with the intent of getting their attention or validation is a form of emotional cheating.

13. Having a ‘Backup’ Person

“If you’re keeping someone around just in case things don’t work out between us, that’s cheating. It means you’re not fully invested.” — Tamara, 27

People often keep an emotional “backup,” someone they flirt with or talk to, just in case their current relationship fails. For many, this safety net is considered emotional cheating.

14. Physical Touch Beyond a Hug

“If you’re touching someone else in any way that isn’t just a friendly hug, you’re cheating. Simple.” — David, 25

While casual touching might not seem like a big deal to some, others see any form of physical contact, even if it’s not sexual, as a betrayal.

15. Repeatedly Liking or Commenting on Someone Else’s Photos

“Why do you need to constantly like someone else’s selfies? It may not seem like a big deal, but it feels like cheating to me.” — Jess, 22

Social media interactions can carry a lot of weight. Constantly engaging with someone’s photos or posts, especially in a flirty way, is seen as crossing a line for many.

16. Talking Badly About Your Partner to Someone Else

“If you’re complaining about me to someone else, it feels like you’re breaking the trust. It opens the door to cheating.” — Ayo, 23

Talking negatively about your partner, especially to someone who might be interested in you, is seen as disloyal. It can lead to emotional cheating or even open the door to something more.

17. Going on ‘Secret’ Friend Hangouts

“If you’re hanging out with someone and you feel the need to hide it from me, then that’s cheating. What’s the point of keeping it a secret?” — Chelsea, 24

Hiding hangouts or meetups with friends or acquaintances—especially if it’s someone your partner doesn’t know—feels suspicious and like a form of betrayal to many.

18. Staying in Touch With Someone You Have a History With

“Why are you still texting someone you used to have feelings for? If it’s in the past, leave it in the past.” — Samuel, 25

People often get uncomfortable when their partner stays in touch with someone they’ve dated or had feelings for. For them, this feels like emotional cheating waiting to happen.

19. Keeping Secrets About Your Whereabouts

“If you’re lying about where you are or who you’re with, it’s already a form of cheating. Honesty is key.” — Zainab, 28

Dishonesty or secrecy about where you’re spending your time raises major red flags. If you’re not being transparent, many people feel like that’s a form of betrayal.

20. Going On Solo ‘Friendship’ Trips

“If you’re going away with someone else, just the two of you, that’s cheating for me—even if it’s ‘just as friends.’” — Mike, 30

Trips or vacations with someone else, even if you claim you’re just friends, are a line many people aren’t okay with crossing.

21. Developing Feelings for Someone Else

“Even if you don’t act on it, developing feelings for someone else is still a betrayal to me. You’re investing in someone who isn’t me.” — Maria, 21

Sometimes, it’s not the action but the feelings. Many people consider emotional attachment or romantic feelings for someone else a form of cheating, even if nothing physical happens.

Final Thoughts

Cheating means different things to different people. What’s clear is that it’s not always about physical betrayal—emotional cheating and even social media behavior can break trust in a relationship. What one person considers innocent may be a total deal-breaker for someone else.

Where do you draw the line? Let us know in the comments!