The 14 Stages of Grossness in a Relationship

Ah, love! At first, everything is cute—but fast forward a bit, and suddenly you’re dealing with a whole new level of intimacy that’s not as Instagram-friendly. From that “always on your best behavior” stage to when you start sharing the most disgusting aspects of being human, relationships have their share of gross moments. And guess what? These gross stages are a sign that you’re really comfortable with each other.

Here’s a hilariously honest look at the 14 stages of grossness in a relationship. Prepare yourself—you’ll either cringe or nod in agreement.

Stage 1: The “No Farts Allowed” Zone

In the beginning, everyone’s on their best behavior. You’re holding in farts, excusing yourself to the bathroom just to burp, and pretending that your body is as flawless as your carefully crafted Instagram feed.

“Oops, I never burp! I’m a delicate flower!”

Stage 2: The Accidental Slip

Then it happens—a rogue fart escapes during a movie night, and suddenly, the room goes silent. You both make awkward eye contact, laugh it off, and act like it was nothing. But inside, you’re both thinking, “Well, I guess we’re getting closer now.”

Stage 3: The Bathroom Door Crack Opens

At some point, you stop closing the door all the way when you’re in the bathroom. Maybe you need to grab something, or maybe you’re just testing the waters. Either way, the bathroom starts to lose its “private sanctuary” status.

Stage 4: Sniff Checks

You’ve reached the stage where you casually ask your partner, “Does this smell weird?” Whether it’s a questionable shirt or even… yourself, you trust them to be brutally honest (and they usually are).

“Nope, you’re good. You still smell like my favorite human.”

Stage 5: Sharing the Shower (and Hair Everywhere)

The cute couple showers you imagined? Yeah, those turn into untangling your partner’s hair from the drain and slipping on shampoo spills. The romance is real, but so is the grossness of hair everywhere.

*Stage 6: Pimple Popping

At this stage, you’ve embraced your inner dermatologist. You’re no longer grossed out by the idea of popping each other’s zits—you’re now invested in their skincare journey. It’s become a weird form of intimacy, honestly.

“Come here, babe, that blackhead has GOT to go!”

Stage 7: Morning Breath Is Now ‘Natural’

Remember when you used to wake up and sneak to brush your teeth before they woke up? That’s over. Morning breath is now just a part of the experience. You don’t even flinch when they lean in for that morning kiss anymore.

Stage 8: Swapping Deodorant

In a pinch, you’re both perfectly fine using each other’s deodorant, toothpaste, or even toothbrush if necessary (though you may pretend like that didn’t happen later). Sharing is caring, right?

Stage 9: The Clogged Drain Crisis

If you have long hair, your partner is now familiar with what seems like half a wig showing up in the shower drain. You’ve had full-on conversations about how to properly clear it out.

Stage 10: The ‘Holding Back Their Hair’ Moment

Ah, the dreaded moment of illness—whether it’s food poisoning, the flu, or one too many drinks. At this point, you’re not even fazed by holding back your partner’s hair while they’re sick in the bathroom. Love is messy, and you’re here for it.

Stage 11: Bathroom Overlap

There comes a day when one of you is brushing your teeth while the other is… well, taking care of other business in the bathroom. Yep, you’ve reached the overlap stage, and it’s as weird as it sounds.

Stage 12: Eating From the Same Plate (Double Dipping Doesn’t Exist)

By now, you’re so comfortable with each other that you don’t care about double-dipping chips, taking bites directly from their fork, or drinking from the same glass. Germs? What germs? You practically share the same immune system at this point.

Stage 13: Open Conversations About Bodily Functions

You’re not just farting in front of each other anymore—you’re having full-blown conversations about it. You’ll find yourselves talking about bowel movements, weird smells, or the fact that you’ve been bloated all day. Zero shame involved.

Stage 14: That’s Just How It Is

At this point, nothing grosses you out anymore. Toenail clippings on the floor? Meh. You’ve seen and shared so much grossness that it’s just another part of the relationship. You’ve crossed the threshold and officially reached peak comfort levels.

Conclusion: Gross Is the New Cute

Every healthy relationship has its gross stages, and if you’re going through them, congratulations—you’ve reached a level of comfort that’s only achieved with time (and love). The truth is, all this “grossness” just means you’re real with each other. You’ve seen it all, done it all, and somehow, you still choose to be with each other every day.